Saturday, March 29, 2014

The worse kind of insanity is the kind that thinks it’s perfectly sane.

And that would be the very thing demonstrated  by Tristan Emmanuel:


Oh Tristan Emmanuel, you poor misguided soul. Sounds to me like someone needs to read his bible more. Or maybe just put it down and count to ten, get some fiber, have a good bowel movement. I saw your little tantrum video, and I must say, we're a little cranky, aren't we?

no apologies You begin with the words, "No Apologies," because I guess you think there's virtue in refusing to admit mistakes of any kind. Especially for your faith, like all proud Christians should. Why would you ever want to admit to Christianity's horrific past? That would just be unchristian, or ungodly, right? 

But your bible, as Maher pointed out, shows God admitting to making a mistake. And we're it. You. Me. Bieber. That guy who dances in a speedo in LMFAO’s video. All of us. That's the point. Mistakes are made by everyone. Even the bible's god, apparently. And I was always taught a big man admits it. But you can't. Of course your god punishes everyone else for his mistake, and from your words, and by the way you were salivating for Maher's torture, I can see the apple didn't fall far from the homicidal tree.

Genesis 6:6 really says: "The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart." Of course he was just upset because his created people started doing their own thing, and he hated that. This happens a lot with kids. They do this thing called thinking for themselves. And sometimes parents can't handle that. But if those parents try to kill their kids for it, we'd probably have them put away for it. But you don't dare rethink the mistake of your god. No, you worship that guy without apology. Even after he called you a mistake. When his only real mistake is being a judgmental, hateful, homicidal ass in the first place.

And your religion, that of Christianity, particularly fundamentalist-type, has also made many mistakes throughout history. But why apologize for that? Instead, just punish people for saying so. So much easier, isn't it, Tristan? So much more fun to get pitchforks and torches.

Me and SpongAfter all, you're freaking out about Bill Maher telling the truth about what's in the Bible. God's regret. God's mistake. God's homicide. Bill Maher is simply telling the truth, and if telling the truth about your religion is a sin, you might want to question why you're so defensive about your religion in the first place.

Tristan, you call Maher an anti-Christian bigot. I do not think that word means what you think it means. Bigotry would be if he hated Christians simply for being Christian. But hey, he's got some Christian friends. He's had many men of the cloth onto his shows whom he loves greatly. He got along famously with the former Rev. Bishop John Shelby Spong, and I was able to tell him so last year in Berkeley. I’m an atheist, and he’s my hero. We love Christians who are taking the religion to progressive directions. Brian McLaren, for example. And this latest pope! Maher and I also adore Bishop Gene Robinson. Of course, you probably hate Robinson, because he's openly gay. And see, that's how bigotry actually works—having no real rational reason for disliking someone. Gays are doing nothing to harm you in any way whatsoever, but your religion is often doing horrible things to us. Your tantrum and threats only prove that.

Spong Fact is, Bill Maher doesn't call for hatred onto Christians at all. He never has. He simply finds their stories silly. Just like you insist evolution is silly. Or other peoples religions. The same way you feel about the religion of Islam, I'm sure. But does that make you an anti-Muslim bigot?

Well, okay, in truth you probably are. Hell. You probably still hate the rock and roll.

But your refusal to accept Islam as truth is not what makes it bigotry. Leading a campaign against them and enforcing hatred and discrimination towards them would be bigotry. He'd and I would like to see mankind rise above religion, but we're not trying some form of eugenics against you. We aren't trying to do away with all things Christian. He even celebrates Christmas. He just does it with pot and porn. I just do it with porn.

If you look at your religion throughout history, you'll see that it has been bigoted—towards science, towards new age religions, towards certain cartoon characters and Muppets. Towards all ways except Christianity, and even then, towards everyone else's version of Christianity that's not the exact same as your own. Christianity's history has demonstrated for centuries that the people who practice it keep missing its point entirely. And that is to not act the way you're acting now, Tristan.

In John chapter 8 Jesus says that the ONLY way to follow him is to hold by his teachings, and his teachings (big surprise) are about being nice to each other. And it says that if you teach something different, then you are an antichrist. I'm not making that up. That's what it says. You can't just stick a Jesus fish on your car and then act like... well... you. You don’t get to use Jesus to preach for lust and greed, for example. That would trespass onto Pat Robertson’s shtick.

But you do precisely this, Tristan. In this video, you declare that Christians should NOT turn the other cheek? REALLY? Don’t turn the other cheek? Who needs to fear Maher when you’re destroying the gospel enough yourself? With that kind of attitude, mister, you might as well worship Mike Tyson. You may as well gang rape a nun on the altar. That’s some major antichristian stuff right there, pal.

But what really gets me is this. You think you need to defend God? I'll let the Bible explain the problem with that, because even I, an atheist, know that you missed some huge biblical lessons with THAT one.

EarGuyRemember in the gospels when the Roman soldiers were coming to take Jesus away? It happens when a man kisses another man, so you probably blacked out and missed what happened next.

But an unnamed disciple tries to protect Jesus by swinging his sword and actually damaging the Roman soldier's ear. Just as you're talking about protecting God. I'm sure you think Jesus would be damned proud of you, but in fact, Jesus steps up and heals the soldier who was there to capture him. Because every time anybody got in the way of him being and suffering persecution, he calls his intended protector, Satan. SATAN. Now I may be turned on by Satan, cuz he's kinda hot. But I don't think that's a term of endearment coming from Jesus. But if he calls you John... just watch where you lay your head. You know, no homo. JohnGay

And how about Uzzah? They were carrying the Ark of the Covenant, that box that God lived in back in his traveling days. Uzzah who saw that the Ark looked like it was about to fall, so he reached up and touched the Ark to steady it. He had been commanded never to touch it, but should he let the damned thing fall? He reacts, and next thing you know, well... 

Does God thank him for trying to save him? No. Uzzah dies. He's struck dead, in fact. It even says God's anger struck him dead. If you need to reference it, the story is told in 2 Samuel 6, and 1 Chronicles 13.

Now is that because of the arrogance of thinking God needs you to protect him? I'll leave that for you to decide. I'm sure you'll find some way to justify your way out of that one. Bible thumpers always do. I told that Uzzah thing once to someone acting like you and his excuse was that the Ark was really a radio, a communication device to the ancient astronaut god, and that Uzzah was electrocuted. Well, you can bet that conversation went well.

UzzahBut Tristan, you are offended. You refuse to apologize. And mostly, you refuse to allow Christianity to be corrected. You see, Maher only criticizes Christianity when it criticizes everybody else. Which is absurd. After all, you should expect criticism. It IS from Christianity that a person shouldn't judge, lest they be judged right back.

It's right there in the Bible. Proverbs 12:1 says "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid." And it sure seems to me that fundamentalist-type Christianity, as you've demosntrated, hates correction so much you're willing to hurt and kill people to prevent it. Seems to me that the Bible is saying that your method of Christianity is stupid. 

Don't get made at me. And I didn't say it. The Bible did.

(And btw, do you see how annoying that is?)

I can certainly identify with you on this. The Bible says as a gay man, I'm an abomination. That my love to someone of the same sex means I shouldn't be allowed to live. I'm aware of that. But I'd rather be an abomination against a God who makes mistakes and punishes others for them, than to just be stupid like you.

You say there was a time when Christians defended God, and hopefully you can see the error in that now. But what are you really saying, Tristan? I mean, I don't think you're really threatening Maher. I think you're just trying to remind him how things used to be worse for people like him. But that's not admission of a mistake on your faith's part?

You see that's the problem I have with those nice, smiling people who swear they ain't judging anybody, bless their hearts. They love the sinner. They just hate the sin! Well yeah. You hate the love I have for someone, something incredibly sacred to me in a way that you can, but refuse, to understand.

But it’s worse than that. You have a belief that said once upon a time, God thought it was okay to stone me to death. But hey, those were old testament times. Your god lets me live now. Oh goodie! I guess I should feel oh so grateful. Maybe thank you for not killing me? But all I feel by that.... is disgust. And I can't figure out why you aren't disgusted. Instead, you defend that. Without apology.

You're right. There was a time we defended God. We called those times the Dark Ages, and they weren't good. You want us back in the dark? The only way you'll get us back there is through fear, and threats, and abuse, the same way we got there the first time. But we're smarter than that now. And that hardly sounds like history worth emulating.

You say Bill Maher slandered God. And that this is unforgivable to you because, "If he slanders one, he slanders you all!" Which is really just a genteel way of saying if I fuck with you, I fuck with the whole trailer park. I get it. It's cute if you're one of the guys on the redneck comedy tour, but you're not.

And your religion started that shit. Your document is centuries old, and it has been calling people like me an abomination for all those centuries. It also has been saying women need to shut up and obey men. It said foreigners must never intermarry, and that slavery was just fine, and slaves should obey their masters and never even think about being their own person. That book is just chock full of slander against other people. But how dare those other people be offended at Christianity, right? Bitch, we got our own trailer parks too, you know.

How about I call your marriage disgusting? How about I talk about the rancid act of you putting your little penga inside her squishy tuna scented disease hole and making demon spawn who would be better off aborted before the spread your icky little stupid genes and spread your stupidity all over the world? Because the bible did call you stupid.

Would you be okay with me saying that? Sure, you could act like you're such a big man and can handle it, but you can't even handle being laughed at by a comedian without pulling out your threats. Yet you expect me to be okay with what your religion says about my relationship?

I mean in your video you compared us criticizing God not just with criticizing Obama, but with threatening his life. Well, Mr. stupid, in case you didn't know it, a critique and a threat are two completely different things. Slandering the president is not illegal, or by now everyone at FoxNews would be incarcerated. Are they? No.

right2falsify Instead what happens, Tristan, is this: You people slander Obama, constantly... and without any rationality or consistency whatsoever... and here's what we do: we use facts to prove your slandering is factually incorrect. We do not waterboard you. We are not droning you. We haven't come for your guns. We don't even have Joe Biden shoot you in the face with birdshot.

So if I criticize your religion, please use evidence to back up why I'm wrong, rather than using threats....... Oh you can't? Because you have none? Well, that's why your religion has always had to resort to whips and stocks. And burning. And torture. And... even worse than that. Stryper. And that Jars of Clay band. And that Christmas shoes song you force on us. I mean really, why do Christians hate us so?

In your video, Tristan, you mentioned an alternative time, "Back when America took God seriously." I have to ask: when are you talking about? When do you mean? The founding fathers?

The Constitution was written with intentional church/state separation. I know you guys deny it, but that's what's in there. You always say that separation of church and state is just this thing liberals hallucinated, that it's just something once said in some letter by Thomas Jefferson, but that's not true. Church/State separation was a major concept loved by Martin Luther, who put it into his "Two Kingdoms Doctrine" in the mid 16th century. 200 years later, James Madison, the actual Father of the Constitution as he came to be called, put it into the Constitution. You see, he practically idolized Luther. The idea of church/state separation came from a foundation-building Christian.

Madison Separation

And Madison also wrote a letter. His was to someone named F. L. Schaeffer. Whoever the fuck that is. While Jefferson's letter said separation of church and state was just for the protection of the church from the government, that's only half of the truth.

In Madison's letter he made it clear that it's a two-way protection. He felt there was a necessity for, as he put it, a "mutual independence" of church and state. And why? He wanted America to be, quote, a "happy disproof of the error so long rooted in the unenlightened minds of well-meaning Christians."

Yes, the father of the Constitution said Christianity was in error. Sounds like the Father of the Constitution needed to be beaten. How dare he call Christians... well meaning but unenlightened!

indivisible Or are you talking about later on, when Francis Bellamy wrote the Pledge of Allegiance? A Baptist minister, and I might add, a Christian socialist, Francis felt no need to say anything about God in that pledge. "Under God" was only added half a century later. Ironically, to get rid of socialists. In McCarthyist times people believed Commies were all atheists and would be exposed as they refused to utter God. And In God We Trust was at the same time put onto the money in hopes that Commies' skin would sizzle on impact. So it was only added during a time of extremely prejudiced hysteria, and only with an assumption that it would cause the same reaction that garlic and holy water does to a vampire. That's a stupid reason to violate church/state separation. It's been stupid all long.

And you want to return to those crazy times of hysteria. Not happening.  You described the beatings and punishment as though you were proud of this wretched part of your religion's history, because hey, no apologies, right? And then you asked:

on our money "Are you laughing now, Bill Maher?"

Now I can't answer for him, but my guess is... No.

Maybe he's laughing at how thin is your grasp of the concept of your own


But no, I doubt he's laughing at the idea of going BACK to the days when your kind ruled everything. And when people werne't allowed to be critical and think outside of the allowed though-box that is Christianity. Because that's not funny.

People were brutalized. They were tortured. They were killed. All for the unforgivable sin... of thinking. All for simply not believing. And why? Because you must not defy God, or you'll burn forever. Because God... is love. That's not funny. That's insane. There is nothing that we find funny about that. There's nothing acceptable about it either. And yet you think there's nothing to apologize for about that. And that's sad.

I'm sorry, Tristan, but it's not even hilarious that the actual point to Christianity is so above your ability to comprehend, and that we atheists apparently grasp the concept better than you. Because come on, Tristan, you've got to be a very special type of stupid to miss the point of your own religion.

But... bless your heart. It's to be expected, I guess. After all, you're stupid. It says so right there in the Bible. Please know, however, that we still care about you. You see, we don't hate the idiot. We just hate their stupidity.



PS: For the ultimate laugh, I went to the website from which Tristan works, and I found the very article in which he has this calling for Maher to be whipped. Now, what do you expect they have as a policy in their comment section?

Posting Policy

I laughed, but I should be fair. Barbwire is telling everyone to please ignore Tristan’s article and trying to disavow themselves from it. Well done, Tristan. You’ve officially burned bridges even to your craziest. Good job!