Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Oh no he didn’t! Um… why yes… yes I did…


You know these memes annoy the fuck outta you. So since no Christians I know have the balls to attack this the way Jesus would do, with a whip and over-turning tables kinda attitude, by all means… allow me:


You’re welcome.

Friday, July 31, 2015

LET’S EAT JESUS! The point Christians forget about THE BODY

zombieseatjebus I do have to admire Jesus for one thing. He is one of the most respected leaders in human history despite the fact that his last request to his followers was, in effect, “Eat me!” Despite the fact that in John 14:12 he says: “whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father,” whenever I say “Eat me!” to people, I’m escorted out of the church by security. It’s just not fair.

This got turned into the Eucharist where people believe that bread is literally transubstantiated into the body of Jesus for your consumption. Now forget whether or not your Jesus is gluten free. What we learned about the “body of Christ” by Paul, in what I think is one of the most beautifully written metaphors, is this:

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ . . .  the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

1 Corinthians 12:12-20

Now I’d rather use that metaphor to describe humanity in general, and not the church. Because the church isn’t going to get the point of this at all. They’ve proven it throughout history. They prove it each Sunday!

When you go to get communion, they tell you it’s the body of Christ. But every wafer looks exactly the same, which suggests homogeny. When I go to get a chicken, I have options: breast, leg, wing, my personal favorite is the thigh. But no. Church makes them all look the same. They’re serving boneless, skinless Jesus strips. That’s just not healthy. And they don’t even offer any dipping sauces!

Although you have Jesus and beverage, even if in small amounts. If you just throw in a French fry you can instantly sell it as a Body of Christ Value Meal.




But I digress.

The parable of the body is well known, but rarely, if ever, have I ever noticed modern Christianity grasp one point within it. It’s not even a hidden part. It’s so well stated that it’s impossible to miss. But they miss it because it’s where the real socialism lies, and they’d rather pretend that doesn’t exist in the Bible:

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26

Again it carries on the whole thing about parts not refusing each other’s necessity. But these examples pertain to rank. This is where one stops thinking about mere equality and starts thinking about justice. And despite the rightwing talking points, it is about equal outcome, not just equal opportunity. To them, having the opportunity out there as a free-for-all is not fair in the least. It rewards the strong.

I still love that it talks about body parts. The “less honorable” parts are given “special modesty.” Yeah, that’s a delicate way to put it. What it’s trying to say is to hide the naughty bits, but hiding is shame. Show “greater honor” it then says to the parts that lacked it? Hey everyone, did you see my awesome organ? Or if you’re in church and someone compliments your hair and you say, “That’s nothing, you should see my vagina!”

They’d be escorted out with me by security.

The verse you see above calls for rewarding the weak and ignoring the strong. Boy, would that ever make rightwing heads explode!

I see this point missed every single time a white person wonders why they can’t have White History Month, or a straight person says they want Straight Pride. They both insist it’s not fair. They both forget that these things help the downtrodden reach equal status. The white person should be thankful they don’t need White History Month. The straight person should be thankful they don’t need Straight Pride.


But no, they gotta whine, play victim, and try to pretend those needs aren’t necessary to the people they then insult, proving it is.

So in the grand scheme of the gospel, I’m still very much a thigh man. And I love the original recipe, rather than the bastardized, socialism-bashing version of today’s Christianity. Although I say that, but have no intention in going to church. Personally, I prefer this metaphor for humanity in general. You have a far greater chance of seeing this philosophy played out amongst the non-religious. It was a central principle in most indigenous peoples and evident in what few we have left. This is further proof of what I claim in my book. Christianity’s point was to revert us back to the way we were when we were all indigenous at heart, before civilization taught us to compete.

And in true Subway fashion, could I get my Jesus wafer toasted? That’d be great, thanks.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Asshole’s Wager: What if you’re wrong about global warming?

disappearinghabitatAsshole’s Wager: This is my parody version of the Pascal’s Wager. Whenever one declares they do not believe in Jesus, the Christian will always ask, “What if you’re wrong?” which is nothing more than an echoing of Pascal’s Wager, long debunked by reasoning people. I’ll get back to this.

Earlier today I met, I think, rightwing moron #29734938712 who couldn’t stop trying to tell me that global warming is just faith without evidence. It was in response to the fact that a friend on Twitter called out this one clown, who I’d blocked I don’t know how long ago for being an atheist-bashing troll, on the fact that he’s failed to ever deliver any evidence on the existence of his god. So rightwing moron #87342987343 said that we swallow global warming as faith.

And when pushed, the comment was simply that apparently NOAA admits having fudged numbers, and the temperature stopped rising for the past 15 years. You know, the same bullshit talking points that the deniers always try to use. BTW temperatures have not stopped rising, and NOAA did no such thing.

Keep in mind the same talking point against NOAA also comes from the same people who claimed NOAA and NASA declared carbon dioxide to be a cooling gas rather than a heating one. NASA and NOAA have never done this. That is a monstrous lie, made by people who have no idea what they’re talking about.

What strikes me though, is how quickly people want to jump on any tiny flaw they think that has been made by science. I don’t understand this, but that’s because I’m not a hateful sack of shit like they are. If you know that you’re polluting nature so badly that it’s disrupting the natural world, wouldn’t you move on the side of caution? Wouldn’t you rather be careful about not destroying things rather than destroy things until someone can prove to you that you are?

If climate science was a “faith” then let me propose the same question that believers of the Christian faith throw at you: What if you’re wrong? It’s a serious question. And it’s one that you don’t get to ignore if you’ve thrown Jesus at me in the same way. Especially since in this event you have way more at risk.

What if you’re wrong and you’re actually destroying the planet? What if you’re actually killing the living world that sustains you and has sustained your ancestors?

PascalLostNow Pascal’s Wager expects me to abandon pleasure, altar my entire personality, change all of my actions, tithe a tenth of my income, and serve in attendance of a church, just in case there might be an angry deity that will send me to hell for all eternity. Just in case there is a hell. Just in case there is a god. Just in case that god actually is a hell-creating kind that likes to send people there for not believing. It expects a lot of out of me with zero evidence to its “case.”

Asshole’s Wager, as I’m calling it… since I am the @BibleAsshole after all… expects very little out of you. You don’t have to even stop attending church. It just asks you to not pollute and to care about the living world around you. And it doesn’t ask this without evidence. We have plenty.

Now if you think pollution doesn’t exist, you’ve got to be a huge moron. I don’t think any of you believers can be that big of a moron. You know there’s pollution. You also must knowthe acidity of the oceans is rising, causing a great deal of species to become close to extinction. But you want to not care. You hear about pollution and you’d rather pretend it doesn’t happen just out of doubt that it might not be real, rather than being careful just in case it is.

This seems remarkably selfish. After all, not caring about god, if your wager is correct, only hurts me. But not caring about the environment, if we’re correct (and we are), hurts everybody. All who are alive right now. All who will live after you. If you’re wrong (and you are) you are going to destroy a great deal of the beauty you think your god created. That’s insane.

Why are you so quick to jump on any tiny bit of a chance, thrown at you by your preferred media, that there might not be global harm caused by man’s pollution? I’ll give you the NOAA claim above as an example. The only thing I was even able to find that NOAA’s “admitted” numbers change gave, was that 2014 maybe wasn’t the hottest year on record. Now with so much evidence that it has been, why is this tiny possible glitch (not even a confirmed one) suddenly a reason to abandon all care and reason? You wouldn’t suddenly throw Christianity entirely out of the window if someone showed you a contradiction in the Bible (and there are many) would you?

It’s like you’re fast to not care and destroy, and slow to maybe care and not destroy. That’s really bizarre priorities.

Oh okay, let’s say that temperatures haven’t risen in 15 years, as is the incorrect claim. Let’s say there was a pause in warming (which there wasn’t). Does a slow-down in rising temperatures mean that all of our harm has been erased? Does that mean it’s cooling? No. Does that mean abandon all measures that man has made that might’ve brought the warming to a halt? Only if you’re fucking nuts!

No, wait, I’m trying to be reasonable. What I meant was, no. You wouldn’t do that. Right?

In fact the “pause” is nothing more than the media clearly not understanding science:
purplebumpMany popular climate myths share the trait of vagueness. For example, consider the argument that climate has changed naturally in the past. Well of course it has, but what does that tell us? It’s akin to telling a fire investigator that fires have always happened naturally in the past. That would doubtless earn you a puzzled look from the investigator. Is the implication that because they have occurred naturally in the past, humans can’t cause fires or climate change? 
The same problem applies to the ‘pause’ (or ‘hiatus’ or better yet, ‘speed bump‘) assertion. It’s true that the warming of average global surface temperatures has slowed over the past 15 years, but what does that mean? One key piece of information that’s usually omitted when discussing this subject is that the overall warming of the entire climate system has continued rapidly over the past 15 years, even faster than the 15 years before that. 

The speed bump only applies to surface temperatures, which only represent about 2 percent of the overall warming of the global climate. Can you make out the tiny purple segment at the bottom of the above figure? That’s the only part of the climatefor which the warming has ‘paused’. As the IPCC figure indicates, over 90 percent of global warming goes into heating the oceans, and it continues at a rapid pace,equivalent to 4 Hiroshima atomic bomb detonations per second.
In other words, they’re making a giant doubt-mountain out of a hallucinated mole-hill of inaccuracy. It’s not actually even there. They hallucinated it! But they’re acting like everything is entirely debunked! That’s bad waging. Asshole’s Wager asks you, what if you’re wrong? What if even one mistake in a number by a scientist is nothing more than a tiny flaw in a completely correct body of evidence? You’re putting a lot at risk for a tiny thing!

But then, you’re quick to be apathetic about the rest of the world. And yet expect me to be quick to assume your god is correct and I might go to hell for it. If you can’t even respect the planet that has absolutely, positively sustained you and given you life, you’re a horribleambassador of this god of yours. And I won’t be wanting to follow him and become twice the son of hell as you are.

You see how that works? Of course not. If you confuse science with faith, you’re not going to see anything. 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Facebook vs. the LGBT Community: Why aren't allies leaving Facebook?

This is a remarkable kid. He courageously went to social media and bared his fears and emotions for all to see, in a special appeal for comments and acceptance:

A photo posted by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on

This kid's tears were shared far and wide all over the internet, with tens of thousands of people encouraging him. And some wonderful voices were included:

Now, Facebook's "Real Name" policy is, they say, a way of protecting Facebook's users against abuse. Yet it repeatedly fails to take any action against things that clearly are disgusting. Like this:

Facebook called it "infant yoga" and claimed it did not violate rules. It routinely allows for postings of things that justifies or even calls for abuse against women or LGBT people, and allows it to remain.

And yet you know what Facebook DID delete? The child above who was pleading for acceptance as a homosexual boy. No, I'm not kidding. Mark Shrayber of the Humans of New York reposted it, which is when it went on to find comment from Hillary and Ellen.

Now, after SCOTUS announced Marriage Equality was the law of the land, Facebook gave you a tool to make rainbow icons, and they donated a tiny amount from their billions to the San Francisco Pride board, so that they could advertise... I mean, march on Pride. But their policies still target and harm drag queens, transgendered, people avoiding abusers (many of which exist in the LGBT community) who need to use a pseudonym, and so many more. The Pride Board divided about this issue, and much protest was made, that a company actively harming LGBT people should not be allowed to advertise... I mean, march on Gay Pride. But one vote more won them the right to.

The usual insistence is that you don't have to use Facebook. But people have given Facebook a power over the internet that, if you don't use it, you are almost alone and missing out on everything on the internet. Plus many companies insist their employees have an account with Facebook, but they cannot have a separate account with a different name to keep private and business lives separate because Facebook will not let them. It's against their policies to have multiple accounts, or to not use your real name. So not using it is banishment from today's community, in actual reality. Facebook has power. Face it. And they're abusing it. Other countries have decided that their policy is illegal. Germany ordered them to change the policy. Why hasn't America? Why are we tolerating this?

Google+ could have been a contender against Facebook, but the usual issue happened. Everyone's on Facebook because everybody's on Facebook, so nobody wanted to go over to Google+ because nobody's over there. So nobody moved and everybody continues to give Facebook this power. For no logical reason other than you just can't get people to move because nobody is moving. It's ludicrous but it's humanity for you.

Facebook continues to pretend this is for your safety, yet has never once given any evidence this policy has protected anybody, while tons of evidence is shown to them that it doesn't. It guarantees that abusers will find you. They even lie by saying their policy isn't a "Real Name" policy and never has been one, yet... that apology not only was a lie, but it lied IN the apology:

Protests continue, and the LGBT community is not amused. yet nobody is leaving Facebook and going to Google+ where the policy isn't anti-LGBT. And I do not understand why not. I am asking this question. I want real answers. I want people to really give it a shot and I want a real conversation about this instead of it being blown over and ignored.

Facebook has admitted to experimenting with its users before, in ways that it knew to be harmful. It doesn't care about abuse suffered by its users. It has repeated allowed for abuse to go unpunished while, instead, punishing the one reporting it. Klan members are able to harass people just fine, but people trying to take down their sites are deleted:

The person who wrote this post in the #MyNameIs page is asking a very valid question. Why aren't you leaving? Why aren't you telling Facebook their management is entirely unacceptable?

If you are the ally of LGBT people, why are you still giving Facebook this kind of power? Why are you still there? Why wouldn't you even consider for a second to stop using it and give Google+ a chance instead? Because all they care about is the profits they make by selling your information to corporations. And if they think they won't get anything because we're leaving, maybe they'll think twice about this policy. Google is making it just fine without that policy. Why does Facebook absolutely have to have our names?

I have shared this image. I ask you share it as well. Start this conversation. Help take power away from Facebook. They will never change if they know they have us no matter what. We have to show we're a real threat before they change.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

OMG COMET!!!!!! So come to Jesus and buy my book and don't believe NASA or something.

Yeah, the religious nutcases are out to scare you again with another doomsday. And yet, it’s not only NOT confirmed, but completely debunked by NASA.
Not that you’d need it, considering the source. And all the shit also said by the people warning you about it.
Alex Jones........ and that’s really all that needs to be said. Well, I’ll say a touch more. If you follow that link you’ll find that Alex Jones’ InfoWatch thinks saying they’ve no reason to expect a comet crashing into earth during that time is a “bold statement” they should avoid making. Figure that logic out if you want to. I’d rather just laugh. Don’t forget... 

He thinks his bogus health product makes you grow more chest hair (and not just a change of lighting which is obviously what happened there.
Hilariously he claims NASA is denying it, but his link for their denial only takes you to the same lunatic site that his other links in that article take you to. And that article is: This site... the Express.co.uk
Which tells you that Operation Jade Helm was actually a program preparing the soldiers to fight during comet collision. I don’t have a fucking clue how soldiers are supposed to fight a comet. You figure it out. Again, I’m avoiding the crazy.
The actual source of it all: Lyn Leahz. This is her video:

She reminds me of the old Marilyn J. Agee. Her site screams about the Rapture, but she’s not used it in a while. Just like Agee’s, whose many failed attempts at predicting the rapture have left her a quivering mess of stupid.
The full description from the video should tell you everything:

Lyn Leahz shares about a phone call with her friend who was given inside information about a comet expected to hit the earth between September 15-28, 2015. Almost a year ago, the foreign minister of France three times publicly announced at a White House press conference a 500-day countdown to "climate chaos", which will end on September 24, 2015. They know what is coming and have already told you - chaos will erupt on this planet in September 2015. Are you listening? Are you prepared? 
Please read and download my free book, "The Rapture Puzzle: Putting the Scriptural Pieces together - Day of Atonement 2015 (September 23/24, 2015) Judgment Day"
http://jesusiscoming2016.webs.com/The... and share this with everyone you can before it is too late. 
You can also listen to me read the book by clicking on this link:
Also, please visit my website:
The Illuminati know what is coming September 22-28, 2015 (parts 1-4)
Come to Jesus - the Door is still open (September 23/24, 2015)
How to prepare for what is coming in September 2015
SEPTEMBER 2015: When the Year of lucifer COLLIDES with the Year of Jubilee (5776)
An asteroid or meteor will hit the earth on September 24, 2015 - you have been warned!!!
About that day and hour no one knows

Yeah. Someone she knows said someone called her with inside info, and prepare for Jesus and stuff. 
I won’t be worrying about this comet.
You probably shouldn't either.


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Boehner accuses Reid of shutting government and calling vets pay a ‘waste of time’

No, I’m not kidding.

Actual e-mail sent out by Cheeto-Dick:

What does Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) think of bipartisan legislation – approved by the Senate Armed Services Committee by a vote of 22-4 – to support our troops and strengthen our national security?  He says it’s “a waste of time.”
Really?  First, President Obama threatened to veto the House defense authorization bill supporting our troops unless we increase funding for agencies like the IRS and EPA.  Then a large majority of House Democrats voted against the troops bill for the same reason – to try and extract more non-defense spending.  And now, the Senate Minority Leader says considering the bipartisan defense authorization bill is “a waste of time.”  If that’s the case, a few questions are in order:
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to support a pay raise for our troops?
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to fully fund our national defense at the exact level the president requested?
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to keep terrorist detainees out of the United States?
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to reinforce the mission to defeat ISIL?
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to stand up to Putin and provide lethal aid to our ally Ukraine?
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to strengthen our cyber defenses?
  • Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to increase our missile defense capabilities?
One of the people’s highest priorities is making sure our troops have what they need to get the job done.  That’s why House Republicans have passed a strong national defense bill.
Democrats may believe it’s a “waste of time” to support our troops in harm’s way.  They may believe that it’s OK to use our troops as pawns to try and extract more spending for the IRS or EPA, but the American people don’t.  Instead of making a political statement, President Obama and his party should put politics aside and support a strong defense bill worthy of our men and women in uniform.  Supporting our troops and their families isn’t a “waste of time.”

Now for the reality:

There isn’t a sane fucking person in the world who thinks it’s Democrats that have been causing government shut-downs, when Republicans have repeatedly admitted it to be their own tactic, and a bad one… that they’re happy as hell to repeat!
Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN): “To try to change a law that was central to the president’s agenda was not something that was achievable” [Fox News Sunday, 10/13]
Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH): “Well, I believe the defunding strategy was a failing strategy from the beginning. It’s not something that I supported. …  I think it’s time for conservative problem solvers to move forward, to govern the nation, to get things done. That’s what Ronald Reagan did. And I think that’s what we need to do as a party.” [CBS’s Face the Nation, 10/13]
But what Harry Reid called a “waste of time” is NOT paying vets. It’s the 21-hour speech of Ted Cruz. The actual quote:
"With all due respect, I’m not sure we learned anything new,” Reid said after Cruz’s speech ended. “It’s been interesting, but it has also been a big waste of time.” 
Republicans are the ones calling veterans bills too expensive, and for killing veterans bills, and Obama has had to veto bills to protect them from Republicans’ slashing!
Does Boehner really think these blatant lies work for him?
Because I’m going to damned well make sure they don’t.