Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Original Sin must be Obama’s fault then!

The original sin was supposed to have been committed by Adam. Who as we now know never existed. So we now have the preposterous idea that Jesus was sacrificed, the scapegoat was sacrificed, for the sins of a nonexistent forebearer.

Richard Dawkins from the
documentary The Unbelievers

Now, this is a fascinating thing that I never considered. Of course in order to follow what I’m telling you, you’d have to be a believer in that absurd thing called evolution, which has been verified by everything we’ve come to learn ever since Darwin conjured it from the heart of Satan himself using goat’s blood and a magic wand made from the fires of the river Styx. But anyway…

Yes, evolution shows us that 6,000 years ago we were not just created from some sky fairy. Homo sapiens was becoming modern Homo sapiens sapiens and learning the skills of civilization, in our modern phenotype. As I write in my book, what they fakely call an ‘original sin’ (eating of that tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil) actually is just a metaphor for the forming of civilization, where humans began taking over land and playing god on the life around them. After all, it was apparently a story told by people west of Mesopotamia (it gives the rivers of the location) who would have not been taking part of that civilization, and therefore, probably came from people trying to explain, to the best of their ability, how these people came up with these magical powers to become so powerful and live in such weird ways. And to explain why they suddenly became ashamed of their bodies, since they were wearing clothes, and most other people were letting it all hang out.

But that’s neither here nor there, because modern Christian dogma is that they literally ate of a tree, and this is the ‘original sin’ that tainted everything with sin, making this god require a blood sacrifice to atone for it all, because apparently hemoglobin is like spiritual bleach. Because that makes sense or something.

Now, given the scientific evidence that human beings have existed far longer than that, and didn’t hail from the fertile crescent of Mesopotamia, but from Africa, sin must be older than they think. So Jesus died for no known reason. But that just means they’ll blame it all on Africans. Eventually they’ll probably come around to blame Obama and say the original sin is also from Kenya.

And Dick Cheney will want to bomb Kenya, and Cheney will say they have weapons of spiritual destruction, and Ann Coulter will ride in, like the Whore of Babbling-on that she is, to defend it all and insist liberals who are against it are on Satan’s side. It’ll be too stupid even for Glenn Beck, but he will draw some weird connection of George Soros to Herod on a chalk board.

The holy war might begin because of what Richard Dawkins just said. Shhhh, Richard! You don’t know what forces of stupidity you might be stirring up!