Earth's Infernal Butthole is in Russia!

If you're a fan of the webcomic, XKCD, then today's comic about the Kola Borehole probably made you chuckle. But if you've not heard of it, you're probably thinking, could people really be that gullible? If you're not a fan of XKCD, here is what I'm talking about:

Yes, this mythical snope truly did take this country by storm, and fooled so many that it would frighten you for the future of the human race. You know, if you weren't already there because of how many people believe a talking snake tricking a chick means you have to give your heart to a zombie so you don't end up in the Kola Borehole.

The story took to America. People willing to believe any stupid old thing grabbed hold of it. Trinity Broadcasting Network insists that tens of thousands of people heard it and immediately came to Christ out of terror. Art Bell claims to have validated this as well and played the sounds on his radio show, Coast to Coast:

Now, didn't that sound awesome? I hear it and imagine it's millions of Republicans, bullies, and religious child-raping assholes in eternal agony. But it's not. It really isn't. In fact a Norwegian guy named Age Rendalen, out of rage of how gullible people are, perpetuated even more stupid hoax about evil spirits escaping the hole and writing evil messages in the sky, and in his story gave clear details of how to reach him for verification, only to have TBN run the damned thing without once contacting him at all, in addition to other American sources. When someone finally did, he was immediately forthcoming to say it's bullshit.

The sounds you hear, aside from making an amazing ringtone (and I have made it into one), has  been basically picked apart and proven to be looped audio, and fake as hell. But it's still nowhere near as fake as Britney Spears' "singing" is, and it at least has a concept of pitch.

But as you can see from here, and here, and here, and here, so many other places, it's absolute bullshit. Doesn't mean people aren't still passing it around, insisting it's absolutely true, and begging you to turn to Jesus before it's too late. You can see those idiots doing that here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and... well... yeah.

You know, by the sounds of that crowd in the earth there, I think God sure needs to learn to stop being a bitch and quit holding this bad a fucking grudge over a single piece of fucking fruit.