Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Let the DUMBLES Secede!


They are calling themselves the Indomitables. Indomitable, of course, meaning impossible to subdue or defeat, which we can disprove within seconds with a military that their political party helped bloat to outrageous proportions at the expense of the country’s infrastructure and the middle class and the poor.

They are also not impossible to defeat at all in debate, as they are often proving to be easily toppled over with the slightest fact and real statistical study.

But okay, they want to call themselves Indomitables, so be it. Because it opens us up to a delightfully fun thing we can do to the name. Remember Yukon Cornelius? He was that bearded character (like yours truly) from the Rankin & Bass production of Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer that you love so much. He was the Duck Dynasty look-a-like that was always after silver and gold? Ring a bell?

Well, he ran into an Abominable Snowman with the guys. Remember what he called them? He called them Bumbles. Know why? Because apparently he couldn’t pronounce Abominable properly. If he can do that to the word Abominable, I say we do the same thing to the word Indomitables:


imageAnd yes, that Nazi-esque thingie is their symbol. But you know, no racism there or anything.

I don’t know if Dumbles bounce, but I’d like to see what happens if they get the fuck out of my country and let us run it according to that thing called fucking democracy, rather than constantly blocking everything because of kneejerk Satanic-panic style McCarthyist hatred towards anything liberal. Or at least anything that isn’t crazily extreme right-wing. I’d like to see them run a state of their own, and presently I’m volunteering Mississippi the state we let them have.

So who’s with me in letting them have Mississippi, removing their star from our flag, and giving it to the territories whose citizens would like voting rights and representation?